Mental Health, Running, Resisting, Tech, Music, Art and Inflatable Kayaks.
Every day I fight like hell!
PTSD, Bi-Polar Disorder, Borderline Pesonality Disorder.
Hope, perspective, opinion and attitude. What's effective. What's not.
Your Life! Your Happiness! Your Choice
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You cant take that away from me.
Happiness is an inside job
Don’t assign anyone else
That much power over your life -Anonymous
People don't steal smiles from you.
They don't shame you.
They may act like a total fuck nugget towards you.
They may go out of their way to be unthoughtful or unkind. Maybe even downright mean.
But when you say they are making me _____ because they said I was ____. Or they called me _____ and they are shaming me.
I have to call bullshit. Here is why I say this.
(Feel free to disagree)
We are responsible for ourselves.
If someone calls me a mentally weak cuck piece of shit that can't hold a job that will never be loved by anyone.
If that was said to me I have not been shamed. Someone is merely sharing their opinion of me with me. That's it.
Taking my smile away. Nope. That is all me.
Shame? Nope. That would be me generating that feeling inside my self.
If shame were actually something that we could generate and then force inside others the U.S. military would have weaponized that shit years ago.
I know it is much easier to externalize our thoughts and feelings about ourselves.
It means we don't have to take real responsibility for our negative thoughts. It lets us focus on something else it's more comfortable that way if you can blame others for why we feel bad about ourselves.
In the end however the old saying “No matter where you go there you are.” holds true. You are the constant. You are the master that makes the grass green. You can steer the boat into Shame Harbor or you can head for the open Waters of Fuck em Bay. It's really up to you.
To everything (turn, turn, turn) There is a season (turn, turn, turn) And a time to every purpose, under heaven. A time of love, a time of hate. A time of war, a time of peace. A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing. From the song: Turn Turn Turn By Pete Seeger Most of my life, as long as I can remember Mental Illness has wreaked havoc on my life. Depression, Anxiety, Emotion Regulation, Mood stabilization issues, Black and White Thinking, Self Medication, Rage. All this led to an inferior quality of life, broken relationships and a trail of human wreckage that spilled back decades. In the late 00’s after another “breakdown” and Suicide attempt, I got, as they say, “sick and tired of being sick and tired." I was ready to do whatever it took to get better. I decided I was going to fight this Mental Illness until I defeated it leaving me victorious over it. So with determination, I slowly and deliberat
The Mask That mask you wear. The lie on your face. The one that you think protects you. The one you think keeps you safe. That mask is poison. That mask is the tool you use to lie to your family and friends. That mask you use to hide the true you, and that's the problem. You see what you think is helping keep the real you safe actually hides the real you from the light. It hides the real you from the truth. So the real you shrivels in the dark and wades in lies. The real you starts to buy the lie that the mask you wear is good and the real you needs to be hidden. Until the real you that has been forced behind the mask so often for so long no longer feels valuable to you. The mask is poison. The real you needs light to grow. The real you need light to heal. The real you is authentic there for beautiful. So I ask you. I beg you. Take the mask and break it. Throw it away and be you. Show you. Let the real you feel the light on your face. That mask
When I am out running * and I see another runner. I don't know how far they have run, or how far they have yet to go. I don't know if they are experienced, or if they are a novice. I don't know if they are running for distance, or speed. I don't know if their effort is easy and manageable, or if they are struggling and the run is taking everything they got. I don't know why they run. So I just accept that they are also out running just like me. That I should just cheer them on and wish them the best without judgement, as I myself keep plugging along with my run. * Running is a metaphor for life. Mythoughtsracing.com 5/18/18