Friday, April 21, 2017

We are not all awesome!

Ok here's the deal.
We are not all awesome.
If that were truely the case
the word awesome would
mean unimpressive.

That doesn't mean we can't
do awesome things or, enjoy
awesome moments

Odds are you aren't:
Special
Priceless
A King
A Princess
A Baller
A shot caller
A rock star
A Superman/woman
you get it...

Most of us will never be the
full definition of these terms.
No matter how
we try.

I know I'm a DICK for being honest.
But I am stuck in the same boat
as all of you.

We can be
Fighters
Brave
Courageous​
Dynamic
Thoughtful
Loving
Smart
Funny
Friendly
Confident,
Acheivers,
Goal Reachers
Truth Preachers,
Helpers
Heroes
and Real Fucking People!

Give yourself a break.
Be honest with yourself.
We are not all awesome.
But that's okay.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Being Mentally Ill is Easy!!

Pain is inevitable suffering is optional -Anonymous

BEING mentally ill is EASY!
Just standing around letting your symptoms ruin your quality of life.
letting your symptoms ruin relationships.
That is very EASY.
It took zero effort. When I would lay in bed for 10 hours a day every day, dreading going out into the world. EASY, no expenditure of energy or effort. It was fucking miserable,
but it was as simple as just laying there.
Drugs, are easy.
Isolation, is a cinch.
Blame, no sweat.
Self loathing, simple.
Shame, no problama.
Missing out, piece of cake.
Giving up, effortless.
All of these things so very painful.
They are however eazy peezy lemon squeezy to do!

LIVING with mental illness that is DIFFICULT!
Getting up every day working for a quality of
Life. Taking your medication. Tending your relationships.
Everyday, I fight to the best of my ability.
I can't just take some pills and go see a MD/PHD talk a bit and I'm good. That just won't cut it.
My Mental Illness is going to fight me every step of the way. I have to meet force with force if I am going to win more than I lose.
Being mindful, is difficult.
Being brave, is difficult.
Asking for help, is difficult.
Emotion management, is difficult.
Owning my behavior when I go off the rails, is difficult.
Doing all these things over and over is difficult.
Rewarding as hell. But difficult to maintain.
So I fight.
There is no cure for this.
But I am not alone. You are not alone.
Fight every day for your life!
Live that life!
Make that life worth living!
When you grow weary of the fight. Call out to your fellow warriors, to your support system, to your family and friends. Ask them to help. So that if you are tired they can help you fight. Should you fall don’t for one minute dwell on it. GET BACK UP!
Find what is effective for YOU.
Do what is effective for YOU.

You got this.

Elliott C Smith



Sunday, April 16, 2017

Change: Hey where did you go?


If I exorcise my devils
Well my angels may leave too
When they leave they're so hard to find
-Tom Waits

If you make REAL noticeable, positive changes in your life don't be surprised when people notice.  Don’t be surprised if those who do notice, start talking shit to you or about you to others. Or seem less than supportive about your “New Thing.” You might find that people like the “old” you better.  You might even find that people don’t like the new you, AT ALL!  On the flip side - you could find that people who didn’t care for you before might really like you now.  It wouldn’t be change if everything stayed the same.  

I’m sure you have heard stories of alcoholics and drug addicts mourning the loss of the people in their lives as they fight to get clean.  The people they lose are the ones still dominated by their need for chemicals.  These people are cast aside not because they are no longer loved by the person in recovery, but because they are standing in the way of recovery.  

Why would other aspects of making change be different? Food, sex, habits, and laziness. The list is endless. If you and your best friend used to go out every Friday night to get shitfaced and attempt to score a little strange. Imagine what it would be like when you tell your friend that you need to go to bed at 8:30pm to get ready for your big 10k on Saturday morning (and also to avoid the hangover, the shame, the Herpes or whatever).  Your bestie or wingman may feel a little energy when you abandon the tradition - they could feel that you are rejecting them on a personal level or “breaking up the band.”  They have every right to feel whatever it is that they feel.  Their relationship with you is changing and change is most often difficult.  

There is no way I can guarantee that what I am about to say next is true. But I am currently testing this theory out in my own life so I am willing to put​ my money where my mouth is.

If you make REAL noticeable, positive changes in your life, you WILL lose people and things like traditions and lifestyles. But you will GAIN so much more in return.  The ones who really love us will still love and support us and the ones that aren't ready for the new us for whatever the reason will fall away.  If we are lucky they could come around again. We can remember the good that came from the relationships that we lost. We can grieve the loss and learn the lessons to be had. We can then return to the struggle of making real, noticeable, positive change in our lives. Come what may.

No real noticeable change in life is simple. Do it anyway!


Elliott C Smith
4/16/17


I Stopped Fighting My Mental Illnesses.

 To everything (turn, turn, turn) There is a season (turn, turn, turn) And a time to every purpose, under heaven. A time of love, a time ...