Change: Hey where did you go?

If I exorcise my devils
Well my angels may leave too
When they leave they're so hard to find
-Tom Waits

If you make REAL noticeable, positive changes in your life don't be surprised when people notice.  Don’t be surprised if those who do notice, start talking shit to you or about you to others. Or seem less than supportive about your “New Thing.” You might find that people like the “old” you better.  You might even find that people don’t like the new you, AT ALL!  On the flip side - you could find that people who didn’t care for you before might really like you now.  It wouldn’t be change if everything stayed the same.  

I’m sure you have heard stories of alcoholics and drug addicts mourning the loss of the people in their lives as they fight to get clean.  The people they lose are the ones still dominated by their need for chemicals.  These people are cast aside not because they are no longer loved by the person in recovery, but because they are standing in the way of recovery.  

Why would other aspects of making change be different? Food, sex, habits, and laziness. The list is endless. If you and your best friend used to go out every Friday night to get shitfaced and attempt to score a little strange. Imagine what it would be like when you tell your friend that you need to go to bed at 8:30pm to get ready for your big 10k on Saturday morning (and also to avoid the hangover, the shame, the Herpes or whatever).  Your bestie or wingman may feel a little energy when you abandon the tradition - they could feel that you are rejecting them on a personal level or “breaking up the band.”  They have every right to feel whatever it is that they feel.  Their relationship with you is changing and change is most often difficult.  

There is no way I can guarantee that what I am about to say next is true. But I am currently testing this theory out in my own life so I am willing to put​ my money where my mouth is.

If you make REAL noticeable, positive changes in your life, you WILL lose people and things like traditions and lifestyles. But you will GAIN so much more in return.  The ones who really love us will still love and support us and the ones that aren't ready for the new us for whatever the reason will fall away.  If we are lucky they could come around again. We can remember the good that came from the relationships that we lost. We can grieve the loss and learn the lessons to be had. We can then return to the struggle of making real, noticeable, positive change in our lives. Come what may.

No real noticeable change in life is simple. Do it anyway!

Elliott C Smith


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