Mental Health, Running, Resisting, Tech, Music, Art and Inflatable Kayaks.
Every day I fight like hell!
PTSD, Bi-Polar Disorder, Borderline Pesonality Disorder.
Hope, perspective, opinion and attitude. What's effective. What's not.
Your Life! Your Happiness! Your Choice
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Change: Hey where did you go?
If I exorcise my devils Well my angels may leave too When they leave they're so hard to find
If you make REAL noticeable, positive changes in your life don't be surprised when people notice. Don’t be surprised if those who do notice, start talking shit to you or about you to others. Or seem less than supportive about your “New Thing.” You might find that people like the “old” you better. You might even find that people don’t like the new you, AT ALL! On the flip side - you could find that people who didn’t care for you before might really like you now. It wouldn’t be change if everything stayed the same.
I’m sure you have heard stories of alcoholics and drug addicts mourning the loss of the people in their lives as they fight to get clean. The people they lose are the ones still dominated by their need for chemicals. These people are cast aside not because they are no longer loved by the person in recovery, but because they are standing in the way of recovery.
Why would other aspects of making change be different? Food, sex, habits, and laziness. The list is endless. If you and your best friend used to go out every Friday night to get shitfaced and attempt to score a little strange. Imagine what it would be like when you tell your friend that you need to go to bed at 8:30pm to get ready for your big 10k on Saturday morning (and also to avoid the hangover, the shame, the Herpes or whatever). Your bestie or wingman may feel a little energy when you abandon the tradition - they could feel that you are rejecting them on a personal level or “breaking up the band.” They have every right to feel whatever it is that they feel. Their relationship with you is changing and change is most often difficult.
There is no way I can guarantee that what I am about to say next is true. But I am currently testing this theory out in my own life so I am willing to put my money where my mouth is.
If you make REAL noticeable, positive changes in your life, you WILL lose people and things like traditions and lifestyles. But you will GAIN so much more in return. The ones who really love us will still love and support us and the ones that aren't ready for the new us for whatever the reason will fall away. If we are lucky they could come around again. We can remember the good that came from the relationships that we lost. We can grieve the loss and learn the lessons to be had. We can then return to the struggle of making real, noticeable, positive change in our lives. Come what may.
No real noticeable change in life is simple. Do it anyway!
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven.
A time of love, a time of hate.
A time of war, a time of peace.
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing.
From the song: Turn Turn Turn
By Pete Seeger
Most of my life, as long as I can remember Mental Illness has wreaked havoc on my life. Depression, Anxiety, Emotion Regulation, Mood stabilization issues, Black and White Thinking, Self Medication, Rage. All this led to an inferior quality of life, broken relationships and a trail of human wreckage that spilled back decades. In the late 00’s after another “breakdown” and Suicide attempt, I got, as they say, “sick and tired of being sick and tired." I was ready to do whatever it took to get better. I decided I was going to fight this Mental Illness until I defeated it leaving me victorious over it. So with determination, I slowly and deliberately trud…
That mask you wear. The lie on your face. The one that you think protects you. The one you think keeps you safe. That mask is poison. That mask is the tool you use to lie to your family and friends. That mask you use to hide the true you, and that's the problem. You see what you think is helping keep the real you safe actually hides the real you from the light. It hides the real you from the truth. So the real you shrivels in the dark and wades in lies. The real you starts to buy the lie that the mask you wear is good and the real you needs to be hidden. Until the real you that has been forced behind the mask so often for so long no longer feels valuable to you. The mask is poison. The real you needs light to grow. The real you need light to heal. The real you is authentic there for beautiful. So I ask you. I beg you. Take the mask and break it. Throw it away and be you. Show you. Let the real you feel the light on your face. That mask you wear. Is killing you. mythoughtsracing.com …
Dear Elliott, I wanted to recognize the hard work you have been doing recently. I know that what may seem like a simple task for most can be very challenging for you. I know You have been through times in your life that pressed you so hard you only thought suicide would give you relief. I know that you used to dread participating in the human experience. You cursed your body mind and soul. Now I see a new light in your face. You are fundamentally the same man, yet you smile now because you're happy not because you’re hiding. Where you once looked at everything as a burden that had to be endured. Now you approach life as the amazing journey that is a reward in itself to live. Hope has replaced hopelessness. Courage has risen from the fear. The struggle has been met with determination. You have transformed the entire world the hidden and the seen. Congratulations! I want to remind you that you got to where you are because you worked har…