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Showing posts from July, 2018

I Stopped Fighting My Mental Illnesses.

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven.
A time of love, a time of hate.
A time of war, a time of peace.
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing.
              From the song: Turn Turn Turn
                                        By Pete Seeger

Most of my life, as long as I can remember Mental Illness has wreaked havoc on my life. Depression, Anxiety, Emotion Regulation, Mood stabilization issues, Black and White Thinking, Self Medication, Rage. All this led to an inferior quality of life, broken relationships and a trail of human wreckage that spilled back decades. In the late 00’s after another “breakdown” and Suicide attempt, I got, as they say, “sick and tired of being sick and tired." I was ready to do whatever it took to get better. I decided I was going to fight this Mental Illness until I defeated it leaving me victorious over it. So with determination, I slowly and deliberately trud…

Running

When I am out running*and I see another runner. I don't know how far they have run, or how far they have yet to go. I don't know if they are experienced, or if they are a novice. I don't know if they are running for distance, or speed. I don't know if their effort is easy and manageable, or if they are struggling and the run is taking everything they got. I don't know why they run. So I just accept that they are also out running just like me. That I should just cheer them on and wish them the best without judgement, as I myself keep plugging along with my run.

*Running is a metaphor for life.
Mythoughtsracing.com 5/18/18

The Mask

The Mask


That mask you wear. The lie on your face. The one that you think protects you. The one you think keeps you safe.  That mask is poison. That mask is the tool you use to lie to your family and friends. That mask you use to hide the true you, and that's the problem. You see what you think is helping keep the real you safe actually hides the real you from the light. It hides the real you from the truth. So the real you shrivels in the dark and wades in lies. The real you starts to buy the lie that the mask you wear is good and the real you needs to be hidden. Until the real you that has been forced behind the mask so often for so long no longer feels valuable to you. The mask is poison. The real you needs light to grow. The real you need light to heal. The real you is authentic there for beautiful. So I ask you. I beg you. Take the mask and break it. Throw it away and be you. Show you. Let the real you feel the light on your face. That mask you wear. Is killing you.
mythoughtsracing.com …